ASLDUGH'AS;DKLJFA

Yes, I went on a hiatus for a while. I was out of time for "Spring break"/Easter.
I'll talk about it later.
When I'm not on the verge of breakdown.
Then I'll also talk about this possible breakdown.
For now I'm going to crawl into my jammies,
sip my tea,
and knit.

Goodnight

Confessions of a Tass

I almost copied and pasted my English literary term paper here so I could just post something and go to sleep but alas I am better than that. So instead I guess it's confession time? *cringe* I don't know what else to talk about (nothing new there) so I'm sorry.

First: If Hamlet were a several thousand years older I would do him in an instant.

Second: I still sleep with my baby blanket, BoBo. I'm not sure why. I recently started...recently as
in past few months. It's just a comfort thing I guess.

Third: I had something good to go here.... well shoot, we'll just move on to

Four: I'm completely infatuated with this guy. Have been for about a year now. It started off little and grew...and now I don't know what to do. He is perfect. Practically. I would go on but I don't want to sound like a stupid lovesick teenager. Erlack. Gross. No.

For something completely different: This kid, Imrlyobnoxious, well he sits next to me in the pit for our musical. Usually I'm horrible to him because he is not a great person. He's a dick really. (He has boxers that say "Wood Is Good" need I say more?!?) So I was sitting in rehearsal today and I was smiling at something and randomly he just goes "You have a really nice smile." It caught me so off guard because usually he's somewhat of a dick back to me (shortly after this he told me I had no soul...) He wasn't joking about it either. Dead serious.

But anyways, I go off to Lincoln, Nebraska tomorrow to visit some family for the holiday. Joy of joys.


Pet Peeves: brown and black worn together, very matchy outfits, seeing boys' boxers...girls' undergarments too for that matter

TMIkthx

Here's to completely BSing my psych project!

Yep, I just finished making up some nonsense for a psych project that's due tomorrow. Not my best work but it'll do.

I don't have much to say today. For reals. I'm too tired. Nothing exciting happened today to trigger anything good to say.

Oh, I was just informed I have to help give the end of the year speech at our last band concert. Crap. I do NOT do public speaking. Ever. No. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen buddy.

And I meant to add this yesterday:
Luckily this girl transferred OUT of my Spanish class. If not... I would kill myself. Well maybe not, but I would make a sorry attempt at it. Her name is HEYGUESSWHAT and she will tell you EVERYTHING no matter if you want to hear it or not. A few things I have learned that I didn't need to know.
1) Her boyfriend of a few months moved into her family's house so he wouldn't have to live in his dorm room
2) She can do things on a stripper pole that I don't need to know about
3) She got a urinary tract infection. And in case you wanted to know it's from having too much sex
4) She once used the same condom 8 times in one day because it was the last one and they didn't want to go out and buy new ones
5) Almost everything about her first time
Enough right? (This blog is definitely NOT rated G...sorry)
To top it off she's a total diva and playing the lead in our musical this year (Marian the Librarian in The Music Man) even though she has no acting experience whatsoever. But as a friend of mine said "She sings and she has boobs. I guess that's good enough." Truth.

Well there you have it.


The lights are on
And someone's home
I'm not sure if they're alone
There's someone else inside my head
Living there too fills me with dread

This paranoia is distressing
But I spend most of my night guessing
Are we not, are we together
Will this make our lives much better

I'm not in love
I just wanna be touched

I just want your kiss boy

"Pumpkin Soup" Kate Nash

The art of conversation is like, kinda dead and stuff

Today was an angry. I came home to find that a)I have a new door b)that new door DOES NOT have a doorknob and c)everything hanging from or sitting within 4 feet of my door was strewn ALL OVER my room. I had to clear a small spot on my bed for me to sit. But in the usual Tass style I held in my anger till I was safely in my room amid the heaps of stuff, door as closed as one can be when lacking a doorknob, and then I sat on the tiny cleared off corner of my bed and cried silently to myself while hoping nobody could hear me through the doorknob sized hole in my door and the loud banging from the installation of the door across from mine. Then I took the rest of my pent up anger out on the things I had to stuff into my closet that usually hang on my door. I had plans of making a video of me frolicking in the snow before that fiasco. Afterwards I just wasn't up for it.

And now why I HATE high school(ers):
I was sitting in Spanish today and unfortunately I sit between two girls who are "OMG BFFs!!!" They're obnoxious, disrespectful, partyers. And I get to hear EVERYTHING. Today BFF Nitwit was telling BFF Massivehair all about this totally wicked party she went to over the weekend. Except the cops showed up and "OMG everyone started running out into the snow to get away but they caught me and I was like, so scared ya know cause I had like, a couple beers. And then made me do one of those like, breathalizer things where you blow into the like, tube. But I knew I was gonna be .02 or something because of like, those beers. So I just barely blew into it but then the cop was like 'you have to blow harder than that' so I like blew harder. Luckily I blew 0 so it was ok."
Need I say more? (I'll be covering my views of underage drinking and alcohol in general at a later date)
But THEN...
first background information: I live in a state that has a rather high population of Native Americans. No big deal. But a couple weeks ago some wise ass kids thought it would be funny to go "Native Hunting". They shot at some Native Americans with BB guns and then threw bottles of pee at them. Just this pisses me off. I thought our culture was past all this shit.
So after the breathalizer story Nitwit was talking about how one of the kids that partook in the "Native Hunting" was at this party. Apparently he's absolutely hilarious! And when the cops were talking to him about his shenanigans? He just laughed!! What an awesome kid!! He's so funny and clever and I want to have his babies!!!
She deserves to be taken out and shot.

Anyways, moral of the story: I'm beyond ready to graduate.


Pet Peeves: disrespectfulness of any kinds, using like every other word, doorknobless doors, chipped nails

*hiccup*

I was just crawling into bed after a long hard day when I realized I DIDN'T DO MY BEDA FOR TODAY!!!! So fiddlestix I crawled OUT of bed and over to my desk where I grabbed my laptop and then crawled back INTO my bed and here I am, grumpy and tired. But I am COMMITTED!! I DO NOT have commitment issues. No sir. Wait...what?
You see what happens when I have to write this spur of the moment when I'm exhausted and want to sleeeep. *sigh* well here, I'll tell you about my day.
I woke up at 10:00 (11:00 according to my clock because it decided it was finally time for daylight savings). After laying in bed for a while (why is my bed a million times more comfy in the morning when I have to get up than at night when I need to go to sleep?) and then got up to go take a shower. After my shower my mom said "breakfast at 10:30!!" So I dressed myself in the appropriate black garb of a symphony employee and dragged my butt to the kitchen table. Of course breakfast was not actually set on the table until after 10:45 because that's the way things in this house work. After eating I waded through the war zone that is now our living room (my uncle came to paint and replace doors...) and took off for symphony rehearsal. That concert that was "canceled" yesterday? Actually just postponed until this afternoon. So we rehearsed for two hours and then after a half hour break did the concert. It went all right. I love the second piece we played which if I knew what it was I'd tell you but it was French and I don't know French so it quickly slipped my mind. I DO know that it was by the fruit guy. His name is Cantaloube. We call him Cantalope. Hence the fruit guy. But anyways, it's a gorgeous piece and I hardly played in it so all was good. Although staying awake for the whole thing was NOT easy. The first half was all one piece and the first movement of that one piece is almost 20 minutes alone...and there are FOUR movements!
So after the concert we went for food (my tummy started growling not even halfway through the first piece...) and then I threw myself on my calculus homework. Jesus Christo if that wasn't the biggest bitch I've ever met. I got a 33% on this online practice test thing... Nothing like calculus to make you feel completely incompitent and inadequate. After recovering from that with two brownies I finished up some psych and was just off to bed when I remembered this. And here I am. Telling you about my day because I have nothing good to say.

On a completely different note I've been reading a few other BEDA's (basically monday, tuesday, and thursday of the fiveawesomegirls and of course Maureen) and for some reason it makes me sort of...warm and fuzzy? excited? happy? I can't think of the word...when I see they've made some minor spelling or grammatical error. It reminds me that THEY are just as human as I am and sometimes I forget them. They're CELEBRITIES to me and seeing that they make silly mistakes like I do makes me feel better about myself (unlike calc!).

So there you have it. Off to bed now.

Pet Peeves: not having a doornob on my bathroom door, my mother walking into my room without knocking, dirty fingernails


AAAAAHHH!!! I have the hiccups for the THIRD TIME TODAY!!! I can't sleep with hiccups!!! =[

A well spent day

Status of Symphony: CANCELED due to excessive amounts of snow.
SCORE!!
So you'd think instead of going to a 2 1/2 hour rehearsal and then 2 hour concert I would do something PRODUCTIVE!! But no. I have done no such thing. I ate some breakfast and then layed in bed with a cup of tea while watching the pilot for The No.1 Lady's Detective Agency because I've read quite a few of the books. Then Sydney White was on so I HAD to watch that. And THEN I watched some CSI before heading off to my room to actually accomplish something. After accomplishing I went back to doing nothing much. Watched the mango song while all the time texting a friend of mine.
The conversation ended with him trying to convince me to let him take me up in his plane (made mostly of wood and canvas). Yea right buddy! You terrify me by just existing. Get me in a dinky plane that you're flying and I'll probably have a panic attack!!
So basically, I don't have much to say. Any ideas I ever have leave my mind as soon as I click "New Post"

A list:
Pet Peeves: doing math in pen, people who pass you because they can't wait the extra second for you to turn, going to the bathroom in your own house only to realize there isn't a door handle on the door, entering my room without knocking, texting in the middle of rehearsals and then asking "where are we?"

THE Question

Day 2 (for me) and I have 39 minutes as of right now before it's tomorrow. Or will it be today...today is yesterday's tomorrow.

Anyways. I had double rehearsal again today. Symphony concert is tomorrow and it might get snowed out because it's blizzarding AGAIN!! Thrice in two weeks. That's good old SoDak for ya huh.

So I'm a senior right. And it's April which means less than two months before graduation. Which ALSO means that everybody I talk to is asking THE question. If you're a senior or have ever been a senior you (you being my invisible audience again) know what THE question is, but in case you don't I will tell you. THE question is: "So what college are you going to?"
The answer? "I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA!!!"
THE question just keeps coming and coming and coming and I'm starting to snap at people when they ask like it's their fault I don't know what I want to do with my life yet.
And to make things worse I got my rejection letter from Swarthmore which is where I really Really REALLY wanted to go. It must be the most perfect place ever. But they don't want me. So I guess I don't want them. BUT nobody understands that when you rejected from the most perfect place ever you DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! Both of my parents and my uncle have said "Oh, sorry you didn't get into Swarthmore," and everyone else has been asking if I got in. Hey, if I got in I would let you know, and if not I clearly don't want to talk about. Thanks for pouring salt in the wound. And on my parents part-I can tell they aren't as sorry as they seem. They are secretly doing a jig because it means that a) they don't have to pay so much my education and b) I won't be going to the "other side of the country" (if there is another side when you're right smack dap in the middle). So thanks for pretending to be supportive mom and dad, but you can stop now. Just tell me the truth. I swear I can handle it. Promise.

Well I think that's enough of a rant for today. I have rehearsal again at 1 tomorrow. That is if it isn't snowed out. And there are 14 minutes left for day 2/3 of BEDA.

Maybe tomorrow I'll start making a list of my pet peeves. Yes? Why not.

Sorry nonexistant reader if none of this makes sense. I write how I think. I think spastically. My English teacher hates it.

Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.
-"Without You" Rent

I didn't see him for a week.